Frenzy A state or period of uncontrolled excitement or wild behavior.
When we finally acknowledge our desires and who we are in the depths of our hearts, it's easy to get lost in the excitement. A lot of the times we hear about "sub-frenzy" particularly. But frenzy is a phenomenon that transcends all roles. The release of endorphins and dopamine from play and BDSM engagement is intoxicating. And for some, addicting. In these moments it is easy to loose sight of our personal agency and safety. Ignoring red flags and bad behavior or speech. This is where taking the time to reflect and consider your own resolve becomes extremely important. Are you accepting to play with just anyone, even if they're not a good match? Have you become so engulfed by your desire that you are willing to undergo being mistreated? Do you think - "no one else is going to want to do this with me, so I have to stay"?
The pull that this Wonderland offers is so vast. There are so many wonderful things to see. So many beautiful people to share your thoughts and dreams with. So many exciting things to explore and experience. It is easy to get carried away. It is also easy to get hurt. Caught up in the wrong crowd. Manipulated. Taken advantage of.
Take your time!!! Breathe. Focus. Hold onto your personal agency. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable position, don't be afraid to tap out. Reach out to a friend for help if you need it.
I do know that sessions can be a huge rush and the come down can be hard. I seem to go through peaks and troughs and the last session I had with Mostwam i felt so down beforehand that even on the train over i wasn't sure i was doing the right thing. But then a forum message perked me up, the session was amazing. But the trip back took in more than the North Downs...
I'm not saying this to put people off, sessions don't always need to be vast to give the thrills, indeed sometimes things can be too much - the epic session seems a great idea, then by the time you're all set to play the thrill has passed - been there too. Perhaps the epic approach stems from mental stimulation where the scenario increases over time to give the same thrill? I know my sessions can touch multiple kinks, but generally the key element is playful fun (even when shooting for a dominatrix!)
I've only had one session that wasn't with a lover (and only 2 with that lover, but that's another story), and I admit I was terrified of this. Honestly so much of "what if I do something wrong, what if I don't think and touch somewhere I'm not supposed to" that it translated into the session. Thankfully that partner took charge and knew how to handle me, something I'm very thankful for.
So I guess "frenzy" for me ended up not being an issue.
For me the issue is the crippling depression that comes following the afterglow. More of what Iain describes, "should I really have done this"? "Now what"? And all the confused feelings flowing through my head. "Remember, this is just business, this person doesn't love you". "This may feel real at the moment, but it's not, it's just play, and it's fleeting. When it's over, you'll go your separate ways". So I find it leaves me feeling empty and kind of miserable in the end.
A fair chunk of my early sessions were with wrestlers, so they were experienced with contact but also on things like how to cover the what ifs beforehand. I've always let them lead, essentially there's usually only a couple of areas off limits and the more they feel comfortable the naughtier they may become. Confused feelingssafterwards is normal, i've had many and your mind gets there eventually, but there might not always be where you expect (i can't give the detail on this one i'm afraid, as i'm in there at the moment and the next steps are a bit tricky...)